Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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