Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
