sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
