I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize