Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
