Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
