Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
