How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
