My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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