Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
