would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Watching her eat just hurts me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
