All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
