i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
