Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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