Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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