Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She bit a glass in half.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
