Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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