Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
