if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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