I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
