I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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