You can't motorboat a personality
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
