Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
