He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
