O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
