Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize