yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
