When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
