she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
