Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
