Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
