i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
