I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
