Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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