I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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