That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
