I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
