Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
