How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
