You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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