Plan B is the new Plan A
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
