Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
