Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
