i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
