My brain says no but my pants say off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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