Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize