Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
