You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
