I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This is the high leading the old right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
