Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
