I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize