get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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