i'm signing you up for texting rehab
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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