Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
