i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
