I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
