but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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