Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
