Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
