Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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