Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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