you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
