Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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