new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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