I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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