I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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