everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
