First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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