Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Randomize
