My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
