I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize